I am 43 years old and I just had twin boys…OMG!
Yes…that is me! My name is Bobby Rettew and I am 43 years old and just had twin boys. What the hell am I thinking, it makes no logical sense…NONE. Let’s do the math real quick, when they turn 20…I will be 63…HOLY CRAP, yes…63.
That will make you stop and gasp for air. That will make you wonder, will I be able to see their children, my grand children…especially if they wait till they are 43 to have children. Now, let’s do that math…AGAIN…I will be 86 years old.
When I was born on March 5, 1974…my mom would turn 20 just 20 days later on March 25th and my dad was 21 going to turn 22 on June 10th. By the time I turned 20, my mom was 39 and my dad was 41. If you use their path, I would have had our oldest and she would be in college right now. We had Rose when I was 38 and now she is five years old turning six this coming September.
I had a few friends right out of high school marry their high school sweethearts, start a family, go to school, start their careers, and now their children are in college. Here I am having twins when friends I graduated high school alongside are celebrating high school graduations and enjoying the first few years of empty nesting.
DEAR LORD….what am I doing? Why did I choose this path?
If Sarah and I had the twins right after we were married 14 years ago, Sarah would have been getting ready to turn 26 and probably avoided many of the high risk complications associated with having twins like she did during her pregnancy.
The logic makes no sense. None…evidence based medicine provides the proof of the complications…BUT!
We can find ways to talk ourselves into a whole, find ways to rationalize decisions into buckets others term good or bad decisions. I know many of my family members were asking, why in the world are you going to pay to go through intrauterine insemination (IUI) at such a late age?
Sarah and I always wanted children, but wanted them on our terms. We wanted to be in the right place in our lives where we could give them our complete attention. We wanted Sarah to stay at home so she could give them the attention we thought would be best for our family. If we would have had Rose, George, or Henry earlier in life…yes, we would have had more years to enjoy them. Yes, we would have increased our chances of seeing our grandchildren. Yes, we would have been able to have the fun we are having now earlier in life. But we didn’t!
And I am typing this for myself…to see myself write these words…to remind myself…it is ok! If we all chose the same path…we would be like lemmings.
It is amazing the medical technology today that not only provided the opportunity for us to have twins at a later time in our lives, but sustain a high risk pregnancy providing two beautiful boys. All of our paths are different and I have enjoyed watching my friends children grow up into adults, sharing pictures on Facebook for all to enjoy. They found their path and their happiness, we just found the right time for twins to bless our lives….and we are embracing every day.